Go Francesca Go!

Neve's beloved nurse embarks on the National Four Peaks Challenge

Let’s start with a round of Would you rather.

Answers in the comments, please.

Would you rather…

• Cycle to every single children’s hospice in the UK, over a 10 week period;

• Cycle on a stationary bike for 24 hours straight;

• Climb the National Four Peaks in five days.

Why is this relevant, you ask?

Today, I want to tell you about Francesca. Francesca is somebody who has already cycled to every single children’s hospice in the UK, as well as undertaken a variety of other outrageous sounding challenges. And now, today, Francesca is embarking on her latest challenge. Over the next week Francesca and her team will be climbing the National Four Peaks, i.e. the tallest mountain in each of the four UK countries. As you do.

Steps of Love poster, painted by Emily Tammam.

• 15th June - Slieve Donard (Northern Ireland)

• 17th June - Ben Nevis (Scotland)

• 19th June - Scafell Pike (England)

• 20th June - Snowdon (Wales)

Why, you might (logically) wonder?

This is how Francesca marks the annual Children’s Hospice Week. Like so many of us, Francesca knows how important children’s palliative care is and why it matters so very much. These challenges help increase awareness and visibility of children’s palliative care as well as fundraise for Together for Short Lives.

Who is Francesca, you might also wonder?

Where to begin. At the end of October 2020, an outreach nurse from our local hospice knocked on our front door and entered our life. Francesca was wearing a simple teal blue polo neck shirt, adorned only with the Helen & Douglas House label and a clear plastic bum bag, full of whatever one needs to be an outreach nurse. This was our first official contact with the hospice. Little did we know how lucky we were, to have Francesca on our team. The luck was not just ours; Francesca cared for so many children and families.

Aaron’s mum Sophia:

Francesca was Aaron’s favourite nurse. She would come for home visits and play games with Aaron and Ethan, usually making movies on a special app she had on the iPad. They always had an absolute blast! She has Aaron’s spirit of strength and determination with her and we are so proud of her. She will conquer every peak!

Max’s mum Karen:

We have fond memories of Francesca supporting us, including joining us for trips to the park to feed the ducks. This sounds simple but pushing a wheelchair and buggy and all Max’s equipment meant I couldn’t do it on my own. I remember her pushing me and Max on an accessible zip wire - something Max had never experienced before.

The coming years in our life would become incredibly overwhelming and heartbreaking, with more suffering than I can bear to remember. Yet alongside us, we had Francesca. She remained with us for the rest of Neve’s life and beyond. Another gift from Neve. There is a poignancy and an ease to being with those who knew Neve well. The shared stories, memories and unspoken understanding are a solace.

Neve loved all her nurses and carers but it would surprise nobody to hear that Francesca was her absolute favourite. As I quietly reminisce, a multitude of Neve and Francesca stories surface. Teddy bear name guessing games, toasted almond negotiations, burnt onion rings, laughing bum bags, trust, 3D Snakes and Ladders, fierce diplomacy regarding all aspects of medication, Poo Bingo, lost and found small dogs, Nick Cope, profound listening, extra birthdays, decorating gingerbread houses, absolute reliability, egg and spoon races, foxes, emotional validation, hedgehogs, party hats at the mere mention of a celebration, googly eyes, Yum Yums, beautifully written end of shift notes, hugs, and above all, just love. Undoubtably, Neve loved Francesca.

Of course, not every moment was straightforward.

“Who are you leaving me with?”

I was on my way out the door, confident that Neve would be well cared for in Francesca’s very capable and competent hands. Nothing new here. After all, she was a highly skilled and experienced children’s palliative care nurse.

“But you can’t leave me at home without a grownup,” she protested, her apprehension clear.

Silence.

I revisit this conversation often. I was eventually able to clarify Francesca’s grownup status enough to reassure her. Nevertheless, Neve’s candid comments continue to provoke thought. Was Francesca just so engaging and optimistic that it was impossible to believe that she could also be a grownup?

Join me now as I cheer Francesca and the Steps of Love team on as they climb their first mountain today. You can follow them on Instagram and donate here.

Let’s all be a bit more Francesca this week!

Finally, for Children’s Hospice Week, I ask that you talk with somebody about children’s palliative care. You can tell them about Francesca and Neve or about the countless professionals like Francesca, supporting children and families like Neve and ours. You can tell them that when life is hard, when there is serious illness and heartbreak, uncertainty and sorrow, that children’s palliative care can be part of hope and comfort and even joy and laughter. And that it’s people like Francesca who are integral to it all, caring for children and families, cycling around the country and climbing mountains in honour of them.